i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
