He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
