what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
