One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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