chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
