Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
