two words: eviction party
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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