my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
