For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My life is pants optional.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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