your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
