ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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