Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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