Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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