So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
