This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
