the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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