if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
