I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
