Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
