you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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