Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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