he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
