I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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