Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
