The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
