remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
