We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
