he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
