I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this just has baby written all over it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize