I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
