If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
