it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
