She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
