OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
