I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you're hired as official boob wrangler
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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