my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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