wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
