he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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