I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
