Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
