we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
