I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
