If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
