yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
