The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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