How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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