Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
