so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize