i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
