Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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