So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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