is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't turn off my feet"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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