my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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