Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
