Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
