Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am naked and annoyed.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
