Already got asked if we're dating
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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