Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize