ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
