I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
