Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize