Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Two words: nipple clamps
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