you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
